Mama Interview :: CANDICE

Tell us a little about you:

I'm Candice. I'm a Los Angeles native who married a Seattle skateboarder. I live in South Pasadena, CA with my husband, my four year old son James, and my dog Sweet Lou. We are expecting our second son in early October! I love my family, my friends, my church, writing, fashion, and coffee. But I'm not drinking coffee because I'm pregnant. I really miss coffee. 

What does a regular day look like for you?

Cooking, baking, cleaning, laundry, and errands. But I always make sure my son and I do something fun every day whether it be going to Disneyland, the library for story time, or our local playground. We're big on staying busy and adventuring and I'm big on making every single day one to remember!

How do you manage to balance life, work and being a mom?

I blog for Baby Gizmo so I am fortunate in that I can do my work before my son wakes up in the morning and after he goes to bed at night. My family lives close so my husband and I are blessed that we are able to date often, too. 

When did you know you wanted to be a mom? Was it something you always knew or was there a certain moment?

I honestly have always felt that it was my calling to be a mom. It is by far my biggest blessing! 

How has motherhood changed you?

It has made me a heck of a lot more patient for starters. It has also shaped me into a more selfless and giving person and given me a permanent outie belly button which is super fun. 

What's the hardest thing about being a mother? The most rewarding?

I think the hardest part is that there really is no time off or breaks. Even during the rare times that I'm not with my son, I'm still on duty, I never stop worrying about him ever. The most rewarding has been to see my son grow. I've been lucky enough to be able to stay home with him since he was born and it amazes me to be able to witness everything he learns and does every day. 

What was your biggest fear about becoming a mother and what is your biggest fear as a mother now?

I think my biggest fear was how was I going to get through labor and delivery without dying. I really don't have many fears when it comes to motherhood but sometimes I fear the future, my son starting school, not needing me, growing up and not being in the house anymore. You know, all those wonderful things that I want so badly for him but also make me sad at the same time. 

Do you ever have "how the heck am I going to this!?" moments?

Yes yes yes! Right now I'm thinking how the heck am I going to mother TWO wild and crazy boys?!! 

What's the best piece of advice you have been given?

You can't get the time back. And oh man is that true. I could cry thinking that my "baby" is already four years old and will be in kindergarten next year. Where has the time gone? Being present in each moment is so so important. You'll never get those years with your kids back. Even the moments where they drive you insane, you'll long for them so badly one day. 

Biggest worry about your child's/children's future?

I want the best for him. It scares me to no end thinking of sending him out into the big world. I hate thinking that someone might not be nice to him at some point. But I also know that he is going to be just fine and I rest in that. 

What would you say to a mom who is feeling down about herself as a mom?

Get through the day, tomorrow will be better. We all have our off days. The sun always rises again. 

Do you feel like social media has a positive or negative (or both) influence on motherhood?

Definitely both. I have met so many amazing moms through Instagram and some of them have even become real life friends. I think in general the community is uplifting and empowering and it has been a real blessing for me to connect with so many of these wonderful moms from around the world. However, I have also seen my fair share of hate on social media and that really saddens me. 

Have you ever been in a situation (or witnessed one) where someone made you feel ashamed for something you did as a mom? Were you able to overcome it? How? What are your thoughts on mom bashing and shaming and how would you like to see it change?

I've seen it happen to others and I've had it happen to me. Words hurt. I feel like people are so so brave behind a keyboard and feel they can say absolutely anything. I always try to remember this: Don't write or say anything you wouldn't want on a billboard with your picture and name on it. Internet bullying and mom bashing happens all too often and I think it's a result of a lot of hate and jealously. They don't know you and they are probably in a really dark place. The bottom line is that we are all moms and we're all in this together. We aren't all going to have the same views and opinions and ways of doing things and that's okay! Instead of being judgmental we need to learn to embrace everyone. We're all just doing the best we can the best way we know how. We have the power to do so much good on social media, to lift others up, to complement them, to make their whole day better, let's focus on that! 

What's one tip you would share with future moms?

Spend quality time with your children. Put your phones away and be present in the moment. They deserve it. 

How or what do you want you kids to remember you by?

My love for them, all the fun things we did together, and my homemade sugar cookies. 

What is something you miss about life before your kids?

Not having a single worry. My husband and I were basically hippies. We didn't have a care in the world and flew by the seat of our pants. 

What's something that people close to you might not know?

I used to suffer from terrible anxiety. Through the grace of God I haven't had an anxiety attack in over five years. 

What inspires you most?

My mom. Any mothering success I may have is strictly because of her. 

What is one question you would ask your mother (about anything)?

If she ever truly had any hard parenting days and what she did to overcome. I'm sure she did but you'd never guess it! I'd also love to know all of her secrets. I mean, I know them, but the woman is just a natural. 

Are you proud of yourself and who you have become as a mom? Would you change anything?

For the most part I'm proud. I know I am raising one heck of a kid. He's smart as a whip, he has the best sense of humor, the kindest heart, and he loves Jesus. Of course I also have days where I feel like a big failure too. 

Who are some inspiring mamas you follow on Instagram? 

@babyboybakery - Jacqui and I met on Instagram, lived in the same city, and our boys became best friends. I think everyone knows what a great mom she is and I knew it years ago from the first time I met her and she had homemade Popsicles and sidewalk chalk for our boys. She's been inspiring me from day 1. 

@sefox @calikatrina @love_sarahjoy @alyciamealy @justcallme_tay - These five women are all mamas I met through Instagram who all have become some of my closet and dearest in real life friends. Each of these moms is gorgeous inside and out, raising the sweetest most beautiful children, and teaches me what it means to be a great mother every day. I'm so thankful for each of them. And for Instagram for bringing us all together. 

Where can we follow you?

Instagram: @Candicerwilliams