Mama Interview :: RAEWYN

Tell us about you:

My name is Raewyn - a feminist wife and mama with a passion for self-love. I strive to empower women to embrace self-love and teach young girls to have confidence.

What does a regular day look like for you?
My daughter usually wakes me up around 7 and we spend the first bit of the day playing and reading. She'll take a nap and I get some work done. Then we go on a walk and do some chores. Naptime and work, again. Our afternoons vary. We'll go to lunch with family or friends or play outside. Then she has an afternoon nap and my husband comes home and we have family time. When she goes to bed, I do the most work on my blog and business.

How do you manage to balance life, work and being a mom?
I am learning how to do it! Most days my house is a mess or work isn't done, but my husband never seems to mind!

When did you know you wanted to be a mom? Was it something you always knew or was there a certain moment?
I always knew that I wanted to be a mom, but I definitely was not ready until this past year.

How has motherhood changed you?
Motherhood has made me more of myself. It has calmed my anxiety disorder, making it almost nonexistent. I've also found more clarity in my passion and calling in life. Lastly, it definitely has made me more of a clean freak.

What's the hardest thing about being a mother? The most rewarding?
The hardest thing is being relied on for everything. I used to be fiercely independent so having someone dependent on me is different. The most rewarding is being someone's everything. I am in awe of the way she looks at me and learns from me.

What is your biggest fear as a mother?
My biggest fear is that I would be a selfish mother though anyone who knows me would tell me I could never be that. But, I want to give her the world.

Do you ever have "how the heck am I going to this!?" moments?
All the time!! It is all still so surreal to me! 

What's the best piece of advice you have been given?
Trust your gut. 

What is your biggest worry about your child(ren)'s future?
I actually don't think about the negative too much. The only worry that comes to mind is that she would suffer from an anxiety disorder or addiction like her father and me.

What would you say to a woman who is feeling down about herself as a mom?
You've got this mama! I see how tough it is and I see you doubting yourself but you are amazing. Look at your accomplishments. Look how your child looks at you. That is how you measure your worth as a mom.

Do you feel like social media has a positive or negative (or both) influence on motherhood?
I think that it can have both. The group of mamas I have met have been incredibly helpful. At the same time, it opens up interactions with people who have very different opinions. Other people are ill-informed but seem informed through social media and they spread myths.

Have you ever been in a situation (or witnessed one) where someone made you feel ashamed for something you did as a mom? Were you able to overcome it? How? What are your thoughts on mom bashing and shaming and how would you like to see it change?
I have not experienced it but I have pretty thick skin. I have seen mom shaming so many times in Facebook Groups. It makes me so, so mad. We are all mothers doing our best. We should support each other. I'm actually writing a blog post about this.

What's one tip you would share with future moms?
Surround yourself with a positive support system. 

How or what do you want you kids to remember you by?
I want my daughter to remember me as a compassionate listener.

What is something you miss about life before your kids?
Going out with my husband!

What's something that people close to you might not know?
Oh this is tough, I'm an open book.

What inspires you most?
Seeing others embrace their passion!

Are you proud of yourself and who you have become as a mom? Would you change anything?
I am so proud of myself!!!! I may stumble through many days, but I think that's totally normal.

Who are some inspiring mamas you follow on Instagram?
@lifeofaministermom @adventuresoflittlebear @motherhoodrising

Where can we follow you?
http://www.beawarriorqueen.com
http://www.facebook.com/beawarriorqueen
http://instagram.com/raetothewyn
http://twitter.com/raetothewyn
http://pinterest.com/raewynsmithwq

Mama Interview :: KELSEY

Tell us about you: 
Hey y’all, I'm Kelsey -  wife to a hunky dreamboat, mama to four sweet princesses, domestic goddess and lover of all the good things in life. We currently make our home in Charlotte, NC. I believe in snuggling often, eating chocolate and drinking wine for good health, laughter being the best medicine for the soul and the transforming power of love. I’m passionate about helping women create grace-filled lives of balance, beauty, simplicity and success. I am 25 years old, met my husband Andrew when I was just 15 years old and we married shortly after I turned 19. My daughters are: Julianna Claire (5), Sophia Nicole (4), Chloe Audrina (2) and Isabel Rosalee (10 months). We have been a part of the awesome Elevation Church community here in Charlotte and are passionate about seeing lives changed for God’s glory! I am so privileged to be able to stay home while raising my babies AND pursue my passions at the same time. Just two short months ago I launched my latest passion project, The Home Loving Wife, which is a lifestyle blog that inspires and empowers women to create and live their best lives. Every day I seek to make better than the last and you will always find me with my hands full (of great things!)

What does a regular day look like for you? 
A regular day around here begins with my husband rising early to start his work day and me trying to pry my zombie-mama eyes open to hopefully get some quiet time to myself before my little circus animals wake up. I try to start most days with a time of devotion and prayer, but #truemomconfession - there are many times I end up scrolling through Instagram for 20 minutes as I take forever to get my rear end out of bed. Once I’m up I head to the kitchen to get some breakfast started and throw in a load of laundry. It’s usually around this time that one (or more!) of my offspring will poke their little head around the corner to ask if it’s time to get up. Once breakfast is made, I set about the task of feeding the 5 of us, getting everyone dressed and ready for the day. Many days during the week we will head to our local YMCA where the girls will spend time reading, playing and making crafts in their classes while this mama gets in a much needed workout and a bit of work afterward. After schlepping us all back home and getting us all some lunch, I put my four littles down for nap time (yes, my 5 and 4 year olds still have mandated quiet times because let’s be real - I would go INSANE if I didn’t have a break during the day!) Most days I try to use this time to get housework or some business done, but I always try to squeeze in at least 15 minutes of time to do something to replenish my soul. Sometime I’ll read, sometimes I’ll catch up on the latest Pretty Little Liars episode (ssshhh!) or I may lie down and close my eyes for a bit. Nap time is truly my favorite part of the day hahaha!! Once naps are done we all have a snack and if the weather is nice, I’ll send the kids outside to play while I get some housework done. I like to start working on dinner pretty early and have my crew fed no later than 6. Daddy usually arrives home sometime between 6:30 and 7, right in the middle of our bedtime routine. Baby Isabel goes to bed first, then Chloe. The big girls get some special time to stay up and visit with us before heading to bed themselves. Depending on the night, my husband and I will either plan to get some evening work time in or we will plan to enjoy an in-home date night (we’re suckers for spending time together!) By the end of the day, we are both exhausted and could probably pass out as soon as the kids go down, but if there is one thing we’ve always made a point to do amidst all the crazy in our lives, it is to invest in ourselves and our relationship.

How do you manage to balance life, work and being a mom? 
The juggle is REAL, let me tell you! I don’t think balance is something to be achieved after crossing a finish line. I think it is something we should choose pursue every day and learn what choices achieve the most balanced results. A few of the biggest strategies that help me maintain balance as I juggle all of the hats that I wear are having my focus and goals clearly defined, planning in advance and having consistent, predictable routines.  When we all know what to expect, things go so much more smoothly and everyone is happier. I try to consistently make decisions that align with my priorities. Sometimes you just have to learn to say no to everything and everyone that is competing for your attentions! 

When did you know you wanted to be a mom? Was it something you always knew or was there a certain moment? 
I was the oldest of four children, and was several years older than each of my siblings, which meant that I automatically fell into a “second-mommy” role. For the longest time I was honestly not such a fan of kids! I never grew up dreaming of being a wife and mommy like my mom was. I had great ambitions. I wanted to travel, see the world, use my talents and fulfill my potential. It wasn’t until I met my husband and God began transforming my heart that I became aware of the great opportunity and privilege I could potentially have to create and nurture a marriage and family that would be a light in this world. 

How has motherhood changed you? 
Motherhood has completely changed me, mind, body and soul. I feel like I have blossomed into the woman I was always meant to be since becoming a mother. Throughout my journey I have learned so much about myself that I never knew. My strength has been tested and grown, as well as my patience and my capacity to love others. And I’ve learned so much more about my Heavenly Father as well. Motherhood has brought me to the end of myself time and time again, which has proven to me that He will always be there to lift me and love me through it all. 

What's the hardest thing about being a mother? The most rewarding? 
The hardest part of being a mother for me is that I’m not naturally a super relational person. I’m actually a huge introvert and could go a very long time without human interaction or conversation. The fact that my children (especially as they get older) need so much relational nurturing and seemingly incessant conversation is very taxing. But, this challenge has also lead to what I’d consider to be the most rewarding aspect of motherhood for me. Throughout all of life’s ups and downs with my kids, I have witness both their growth and my own growth, and that is so very sweet to me.

What is your biggest fear as a mother? 
My biggest fear as a mother is that my kids would feel like I don’t see, hear or understand them. It takes an incredible amount of intentionality to really get to know your child’s heart, and even more still to allow them to express their heart and discover who they are for themselves. I don’t ever want them to think that I don’t see them.

Do you ever have "how the heck am I going to this!?" moments? 
Truth? Almost every. single. day. Sometime I get lucky and have a string of good days that make me feel like I’ve got it all under control and feeling on top of the world! But more often than not, especially during these young years with my babes, I honestly don’t know how I’m going to finish this race. And it’s almost always a silly thing that triggers this type of breakdown for me hahahaha. I do pretty well under pressure, but if it’s been a crazy day and then I discover we have left  the toddler’s sippy cup at home while going out to eat at a restaurant, you will probably find me needing to stay in the car for a few moments to pull myself together, fan my eyes to keep from crying and take deep breaths with the AC blasting to fend off my hot flashes! WHEW, this motherhood thing is H-A-R-D!!

What's the best piece of advice you have been given? 
I have two. The first is that you can’t pour anything out of an empty cup, which means that especially as wives and mamas, we always need to prioritize taking care of ourselves. The second is when in doubt, go with love. Love God, love yourself and love others. This mindset can simplify so many of life’s craziness.

What is your biggest worry about your child(ren)'s future? 
The only thing that I ever worry about my children’s future is what the world will look like for them. It can be difficult to trust in God’s goodness and providence when it feels like things in this world aren’t looking too hot. Sometimes if I let myself slip, I’ll begin to fret about how bad things could get in the next 5, 10 or 20 years down the road, and these thoughts will paralyze me with fear for my children’s futures.

What would you say to a woman who is feeling down about herself as a mom? 
I would tell her that God knew exactly what He was doing when he made her AND when he chose her to be her children’s mother. He doesn’t expect her to be perfect and His grace knows no bounds. No matter how bad things get, we always have the opportunity to make things better. When we dedicate ourselves to learning how to have grace with ourselves, we will be even better at extending grace to others.

Do you feel like social media has a positive or negative (or both) influence on motherhood? 
For me I think it’s a mixed bag. If I remain intentional about how I contribute to and consume social media, it is usually a very positive influence in my life. But if I get a bit lax and undisciplined in how I use it, it can lead to poor time management and feelings of inadequacy and discontentment.

Have you ever been in a situation (or witnessed one) where someone made you feel ashamed for something you did as a mom? Were you able to overcome it? How? What are your thoughts on mom bashing and shaming and how would you like to see it change? 
Mom bashing is the absolutely WORST. How anyone could ever think that it is a justifiable or productive thing to make a parent feel ashamed for their choices is literally beyond me. I think it is perfectly acceptable to share what you believe in with those who are interested in hearing what you have to say. But outside the realm of safety, it is never okay to assert your own understanding of what is “best” into another person’s life or family. For years we have gotten tons of comments like, “Don’t you know how that happens” or “How many kids are you guys going to have?” and it’s always baffled me why people feel the need to say things like that. Literally, what do my reproductive choices or circumstances have to do with them? The same goes for any other area of parenting or lifestyle choices. I’m all about sharing wisdom that has worked well for me and my family, and will gladly share when asked or when I deem it appropriate - but ALWAYS from a place of love and respect.

What's one tip you would share with future moms? 
I am SO passionate about encouraging women who are just beginning their motherhood journeys to slow down, relax and enjoy it. You don’t have to figure out all the answers. It’s not some big scary thing that some people are cut out for and others aren’t. We were designed to reproduce and mother intuitively. So will there be things you have to learn? Absolutely! But we shouldn’t fear what we don’t know. We should embrace it as a challenge and an opportunity!!

How or what do you want your kids to remember you by? 
I want my kids to remember me as being someone who sought to work hard at everything I did and someone who loved passionately and fiercely. I want them to remember my faith and courage and my smile. I want them to remember all of the times I dried their tears and held them in my arms and listened as they poured out their hearts to me. I want them to always remember my love for them, my love for their Daddy and my love for God.

 

What is something you miss about life before your kids? 
Pretty much the only thing I miss about life before I had my kiddos was the easy freedom my husband and I had to do whatever we wanted. We could go on adventures at a moment’s notice and bask in unending moments of just enjoying all of life’s goodness. And maybe I miss the quiet too ;)

What's something that people close to you might not know? 
I have no idea. I am a super open book - what some may call an “over-sharer” haha! But perhaps those closest to me may not know how often I feel like I’m not doing enough or being good enough. Because they all know just how much I do.

What inspires you most? 
I am inspired by so many things! But what I find breathes the most life into my soul are seeing people spread kindness, goodness and love, appreciating all the beauty in this world, whether it’s nature, art, good design or architecture, and learning new things. The fact that there are always so many new things to learn gives me such a sense of wonder and purpose as I continue on my life’s journey.

Are you proud of yourself and who you have become as a mom? Would you change anything? 
I’m extremely proud of myself. I have overcome a lot and changed in so many positive ways over the years. I have such a long, long way to go and there are so many ways I want to keep growing and things I want to change. But overall I am satisfied with how I have approached this huge responsibility of motherhood. I want to keep getting better and doing better, for myself and for my kids. I never want to stop.

Who are some inspiring mamas you follow on Instagram? 
Again, there are so many! Some of the women who currently inspire me and speak straight to my soul are Robin @thebalancedlife, Natalie @natalieborton, Melissa @ellabrooksblog and Teresa @hugsandpunches.

Where can we follow you?
Blog // http://www.thehomelovingwife.com  
Instagram // http://www.instagram.com/thehomelovingwife 
Facebook // http://www.facebook.com/thehomelovingwife 
Twitter // http://www.twitter.com/homelovingwife 
Pinterest // http://www.pinterest.com/homelovingwife